He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
There r osticjed everywhere
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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