I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
