i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
P.S. I can't hear my feet
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
