I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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