I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
