i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
