i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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