I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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