he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
