I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
