just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
