I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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