Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
