those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize