remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i would one night stand the shit outta him
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Pants are for mortals
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
