I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
