butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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