i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This is my gift to your gina
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
