Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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