Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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