i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My ATM looks so different sober.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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