she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
