hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Randomize
