You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
