Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
