So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize