Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
