Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
