idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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