I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
