A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
