Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
