my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
