What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
