So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Randomize
