I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
as a side note pls kill me
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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