I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
