New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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