we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
