it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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