I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
