yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
