I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
