doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize