I think scott just propositioned me for sex
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
