Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I smell like Dick and happiness
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