Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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