Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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