I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
