just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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