I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
It's just like the Real World with babies
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
