Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
