also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
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